The Sin of Envy
by Rhaegal Nymeria Stark
Summary: Envy is a petty and abhorrent sin, but no one can escape it. Azula is the cause for envy of three people closest to her. (Hints of Azutara and one-sided Maiko and one-sided Maizula in later chapters)
1. Ursa

Disclaimer: I do not own The Last Airbender

Summary: Envy is never something to be proud of. Unfortunately, the sin rules Three people and all because of Azula and she doesn't even know it.

Note: This Story is inspired by joyblue's, story "The Green Eyed Monster," a "Song of Ice and Fire" fic on "Archive of our own." Inspired, not stolen. Get it? Got it. Good.

**The Sin of Envy: A Character Study**

**Chapter One:**

**Ursa:**

Princess Ursa of the Firenation was by no means royalty. Oh, she was the granddaughter of Avatar Roku, but royalty, she was not. However, she was raised to be a lady, which certainly helped in luring Prince Ozai into marrying her, though if anyone asked her, she'd claim that it was force on Ozai's part. But, Ursa strived to act as a woman of royal blood was meant to behave. Even when she and her beloved Ikem had taken refuge in the Earth Kingdom, she conformed to the teachings her parents had impressed upon her. At least when she had met Ozai and Iroh there had been an excuse. Her manners and conformity had been for the sake of climbing the social ladder to one of the two possible future Fire Lords.

Azulon's manipulations had helped of course.

But as a result of conformity, for a time, and certainly now, she had everything she could possibly want. Envy naturally was an unnecessary emotion to harbor. Or it could have been had Ursa _truly _had everything. Well, everything…...didn't include the love of her oldest daughter.

Azula had been taken out of the mental facility and now was being kept under severe supervision. Supervision might not have been much when the only supervision that watching the firebender was the Avatar and his group, but oddly it was working a lot better than keeping the princess locked up.

Ursa's stomach turned when she thought about what Ozai had done to her daughter. He had pushed her…all that pressure that Ozai had put on their child, her mind had finally snapped. Ursa had tried to be a mother to Azula when she, Ikem and Kiyi had been brought back to the palace, but the willful firebender had scorned her mother, ignoring her ever since they came back from the Earth Kingdom.

Once again, Ursa didn't have a chance with winning Azula's love.

Then again, it's not like it was the first time that Azula had spurned her mother and intended to leave it at that. That was why Ursa realized that Agni was so cruel. Her daughter favored Ozai over her own mother and now she ignored Ursa at every turn.

Ursa had suspected from the beginning ever since she gave birth to Zuko that at least one of her children would prefer their father from her. She had always thought that it would be Zuko; he was a boy after all, and didn't all young boys aspire to be like their daddies?

She had been wrong.

Perhaps it was because she doted on the boy so much or perhaps because Ozai considered the little prince weak since the day the child was born, or perhaps it was because Zuko was so much like his blood father; Ikem that the boy took a natural liking to Ursa, rebuffing Ozai's attempted teachings.

So when Azula came along, a rather greedy part of the princess, assuming that her daughter would instinctively sway towards her instead of the girl's father, had been filled with unbridled joy.

She had been wrong of course. Very wrong.

Perhaps the blood of Sozin was so strong in Azula's veins that any attempt to coax the child from her father was futile. Azula was at Ozai's side every single second, following him like a lost little lamb-puppy. It made Ursa sick even back then. She knew what Ozai wanted for both their children. Ozai didn't see humans when he looked at Zuko and Azula. He saw weapons. Warriors meant to be forged in blood and fire. Ozai didn't even know the meaning of the word "love."

And he had brainwashed Azula.

Azula always claimed that Ursa never loved her, but how could Ursa ever show her daughter love when the little girl rejected her offerings of love, instead drifting more and more to an iron fisted tyrant?

Ozai had taken Azula from her when Azula was a little girl, and it now seemed that Ozai had stolen Azula from her once again. Now, a seventeen year old Azula pretended that Ursa didn't even exist. It seemed that Ozai had won again.

Ursa could forgive Ozai for usurping Iroh from the older man's birthright, she could forgive him for nearly destroying the Earth Kingdom, she could even forgive him for scarring Zuko and for exiling her.

But the scars that Ozai had inflicted on her by stealing Azula from her back then...and now, would remain permanent.

**Author's Note:**

**Well, I hope everyone liked it. There are more chaps coming and I just want to warn you that some characters are going to be OOC**


	2. Zuko-Chapter One

Summary: Envy wasn't admirable, and Zuko thought that he was over it, but he was wrong.

(The first of the two times when envy visits Zuko because of Azula)

**Envy: Zuko:**

A little sister. Zuko had always wanted that. Even when he was almost two years old, and the young prince started understanding what exactly a "little sister" was, he had always hoped that he'd have a baby sister to look after.

How happy the little firebender had been when Ursa had first carried Azula in her arms, bringing the baby over to Zuko, letting him get a look at her. The little prince had sworn an oath, (or at least as serious an oath as a child of that age could give) and vowed to protect his little sister from all. It didn't matter if it was from people or monsters, even the dragons that their mommy and uncle would tell him about in those stories, he would protect Azula till the day he died.

Now the word "failure" seemed to be imprinted into his skin. It was an invisible mark that no one else except Zuko could see. It wasn't like the burn that his father had branded onto his face as a sign of his disobedience. It was unseen to all except for him. Zuko could feel the word, "failure" imbedding itself into his skin, into his muscles and bones.

He had failed to protect Azula. He was a failure as a brother. He was trying desperately to be a good sibling to her now; tried to offer her gifts, tried to spend as much time with her as possible, or at least as possible for the Fire Lord, and would strive to listen to any qualms the younger royal might have.

He made this effort of course with Kiyi, but the fact that he had messed up so severely with Azula, and had failed to protect the girl from their monstrously abusive father, triggered an instinctive protective brotherly desire, especially given her more or less maddened state.

Though much less now than how she used to be. Being around Mai, Kiyi, Aang and his group and visits from Ty Lee at the palace seemed to help his sister.

Still it weighed heavily on the scarred Fire Lord. How could he not get at least one chance to make up for not looking after his sister, when she so easily let Toph, Sokka, Aang and Katara into her cold heart?

Zuko knew personally how hard it was to ignore Aang and his friends. It was so easy to let the four of them in and break down one's defenses. They were very good at that. But no matter how understandable Zuko knew it was, and no matter how relentless Aang's optimism, Katara's hope, and Sokka and Toph's ability to set a sort of camaraderie feeling between whoever they met, it never ceased to hit a pained cord within the Fire Lord when he watched the Gaang with Azula.

Why? Why was it so easy for Toph with the tactful attitude of a rock, Sokka, who was just as socially awkward as he himself was, and Katara and Aang who annoyed Azula unlike anyone else in the world to get under the princess's skin and actually more or less forced the girl out of her shell?

When he became the Fire Lord, Zuko had sworn to never let his envy and resentment get to him ever again, he was aware already of what a little brat he had been, uncaring for everyone else for his own personal gain and blaming Azula for his own faults. Now, it appeared that yet again there was another vow he had broken. Yet again, he had failed to be honorable and have clarity and own up to his personal failings. He had failed to be a brother to Azula. His sister was just reaping the benefits of Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph being here at the palace. If he couldn't get Azula to open up to him, that was his own fault, his own flaws. Then again, who would blame Azula after Zuko neglected to protect her from Ozai?

He was the one who couldn't get Azula to open her heart to him. It wasn't Azula's fault that Toph, Sokka, Aang and Katara were just so much better at enticing reactions from his jaded sister.

The resentment and jealousy, however, was starting to boil up. When Zuko looked in the mirror, he was beginning to see shades of his old self. The one that was completely full of envy and discontentment. And it rose up within him whenever he saw Azula sitting and just listening to one of Sokka's dumb jokes before rolling her eyes or would watch Azula and Toph bicker, a smirk tugging at both young women's mouths as they clearly mutually enjoyed the banter.

Zuko knew it was only a matter of time before Sozin's blue dragon started whispering in his ear as he slept, lulling his dreams into darkness, twisting his mind. Zuko had sworn that he would be stronger than this.

He had failed again. He truly was a failure. Perhaps Ozai and Azula had always been right about him.


	3. Zuko-Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Own nothing

**Envy:**

**Chapter Three:**

Zuko knew it wouldn't hurt; lying never hurt him. He was just a horrible liar. That was to be expected though. He had inherited a lot from Ursa, his inability to lie well more than likely came from her. Still, when he told Mai that nothing was bothering him, the guilt shouldn't have consumed him like it did. He was only doing the honorable thing; looking out for his wife's feelings. But when the lie rolled off his tongue and past his lips, immediately causing the raven haired Fire Lady's eyebrows to raise in suspicion, he felt his cheeks begin to flush. He had never been an effective liar, but that didn't mean that he certainly hadn't tried in the past.

When he had found Aang and his group, he had told himself that that would be the end of his lies. He'd try not to ever lie ever again. He could go now and add that broken promise to the horde of vows that he had chosen not to fulfill. He certainly had a long list of shattered oaths.

The biggest of those broken pledges read as follows:

He would protect his sister from everything: failed.

He would stop lying: failed.

He would be a good big brother: failed.

He would stop being so resentful: failed.

He would not let Ozai's words affect him anymore: failed.

Despite the three years his uncle Iroh had told him he wasn't a miserable failure, Zuko could only sit back and watch the results of his actions, or rather, lack of actions. He could blame Azula all he wanted. He could blame Ozai all he wanted. He was an adult now, Zuko had to take responsibility for his actions and inactions now. He couldn't sway Azula to feel any affection for him, and he couldn't succeed in winning Mai's heart.

When he was a child, he had blamed Azula for making him look bad.

It was his own fault he couldn't do firebending katas as well as she could. It wasn't her fault she was born a prodigy and that he shirked his responsibilities and didn't attend firebending lessons as Ozai had instructed, therefore hindering himself and not being as efficient as his sister. He had chosen to ignore his responsibilities as prince and didn't practice katas, he didn't do nearly as well as his sister did, end of story. He was mature enough to admit that he had been the one that was mistaken.

He could blame Aang, Sokka, Toph and Katara for Azula opening up to the four of them and not him, but he had no one to blame but himself for not trying harder.

And it was only his fault...that...he hadn't won Mai's heart…and his own fault that when he brought Mai to climax, it was his sister's name who the Fire Lady uttered with such passion in her breath instead of his own.

Zuko was starting to accept that Mai had never loved him. But how could he have known if he hadn't started noticing it till now? Had he known, he never would have married the woman. It was too late now. Mai was five months with child. Zuko began to wonder what it would be like; acting as the Fire Lord and pretending his wife loved him and trying to be a good father when Mai was fantasizing about Azula and imagining raising her child with the princess.

He could brag all he wanted that he was the Fire Lord and that he had beat Azula in the Agni Kai…even though he knew it had never been him…it had been Katara that had won it, but he knew the truth. The papers might have been signed and the child by blood might be his, but Azula had won his friends and his wife. How could he sit on the throne, giving while he had to live with the knowledge that every time he brought Mai pleasure she was pretending that it was _Azula_ in _his_ place?

He had ascended to the throne that he had always thought about sitting on when he was a child, but there had been a price to pay. He had the power and the respect, but had lost a great deal of love.

Well…..Azula would debate that. According to her, he had all of their mother and uncle's love, Ty Lee and Mai had both betrayed her for Zuko, and he had the friendship of Aang and his group.

If only she knew the truth.

Then again, if Azula knew that Mai was in love with her, she'd laugh. The Fire Lord knew exactly how his sister would react. She would say that Mai had had her chance, and since Mai had already tried her lot with "Zuzu," it was too late. Zuko chuckled grimly at that thought. Irony, it seemed, had no bounds.


	4. Mai

**Envy: Chapter 4:**

**Mai:**

Being dignified was almost an unspoken law in the world of the upper class and royalty. "Behave and don't embarrass me and your father." Had been what her mother had always said to her before her parents had tended to their duties. This was a lesson that echoed in Mai's mind, surrounding her conscience for years now. No emotion, no passion, no pain, no "petty" matters, as her father had regularly drilled into his daughter's head. Mai never changed emotions, never changed her neutral countenance. Her inability to give further expressions than glaring and occasionally smiling was only a product of her upbringing, but that didn't mean that she couldn't feel such negligible emotions like jealousy.

Mai knew it was her own fault. She had decided of her own free will to save Zuko and betray Azula. She supposed that she was only watching the results of her foolishness.

Her whole life her heart had beat faster every time Azula entered the same room as her. Her whole life, Mai's breath had shortened whenever Azula came near her. She had told herself that it was just fear. Only fear. After all, Azula tended to strike cold fear into even the bravest of warriors and Lords; it wasn't a naïve assumption. Mai could hide the truth within herself for only so long. Her crush on Zuko was really just a crush.

It was Azula that Mai knew she had been meant to marry. Perhaps that was why Zuko's son or daughter seemed to weigh so heavily in her stomach, causing intense pains that she suspected even a pregnant woman on the verge of giving birth wouldn't experience. Her unending pains and the heavy black shame on her soul was penance maybe? Penance for betrayal to her true love? How should she know? While she, like all children of the Fire Nation had grown up with stories of Agni, spirits and dragons, she had no idea what their idea of judgment was. There were religions and theories, but she certainly had no idea.

Well, if her pregnancy pains weren't a punishment by Agni for her crime, she had a good idea of what exactly was. Even if she wasn't punished for this treachery by means of pregnancy and labor pains, then Katara the waterbender sharing Azula's bed certainly was the means that Agni was carrying out her sentence.

It wasn't like Mai had reacted when she found out. She never did.

The war that took place in the woman's heart however, was plenty proof for the ebony haired woman. As before, like when she was a little girl, Mai denied that she was jealous. She would not admit to such childish emotions. She told herself that the pang in her chest whenever she caught a glimpse of Katara straddling Azula's thighs as the princess sat on her silk and velvet bed, an adoring smile on the Southern water tribe woman's face as she stared down at her lover, hands grasping Azula's blank face in her hands, was nothing more than disgust over the display of sentimentality. She'd tell her self that the burning in her eyes whenever she caught Azula and Katara looking at each other for too long at the dinner table was just a speck of dirt or microscopic flecks of food caught in her eyes, not the welling of tears.

The most ridiculous lie Mai had ever told herself though, was when the Fire Lady finally collapsed against her and Zuko's bed, weeping into the pillow, flashes of Katara and Azula's unspoken relationship running through her mind and in desperation, the Fire Lady had repeated to herself over and over again that it was just mood swings from the pregnancy. Thank Agni for small favors, because Zuko was not near the room at the time and Ursa and her husband were out with their small daughter in the village nearby.

Azula and Katara were…somewhere; Mai was pretty sure she didn't even want to know anymore.

She had made the most obvious choice for her mate. Zuko was sweet, kind and had every aspect that her parents wanted in her husband and he was now Fire Lord. Mai had won the throne and the ruler of the Fire Nation, but Katara was the one that had gained everything that Mai ever wanted.

If Zuko, Ursa, Iroh or Ty Lee were to ever ask what was wrong, Mai's countenance would never change and she would keep feeding them her lies. But inside, her cracked and splintered heart couldn't take much more.

She wondered what would happen if she were to tell Azula one day. If she were to tell Azula that her heart and soul was in the princess's hands; that Azula could do with her heart and soul as the princess saw fit. Mai was pretty sure she knew how that would turn out. She had known Azula her whole life. She had a feeling she knew how her 'Zula would react. She had known before Boiling Rock, and afterwards, after she had betrayed her princess, she most definitely knew how Azula would act with such knowledge. She would make a point of how much she despised Mai and she would laugh. She would tell Mai that the assassin had her chance. The assassin chose, "Zuzu," and she would lie in the bed that she had made. That was exactly what the princess so eloquently would say.

How was it that Katara, a "savage" from the Southern Water Tribe; a group of people who lived in sealskin huts and furs, who had no concept of "proper" behavior or upper class had won Azula? Azula was a prodigy and a hero of the Fire Nation. How had someone like Katara won Azula's heart when Mai couldn't even get an ounce of respect from the princess? A Southern Water Tribe woman had earned the Fire Nation prodigy's love, and Mai was left with nothing...or what she felt was nothing. Then again, Azula would probably appreciate the irony. The erratic firebender always found it funny that someone as irresponsible as Zuko hadn't earned the crown and yet was Fire Lord and she herself, the hero of the Fire Nation, who had _blue fire_ was simply left with nothing except the Dai Li, her servants and her own Imperial Firebenders, nothing more. Given Azula couldn't prevent herself from pointing out this cruel irony almost every chance she got, perhaps Azula would enjoy the irony of owning Mai's heart, but Katara; someone who hadn't earned her time with the princess like Mai had, and who was of the lowest class in the world, being the one in Azula's bed at the end of the day.

When disparaging thoughts like that crossed Mai's mind, a grim, self-deprecating smile would stretch itself over the assassin's face. Oh yes; Azula would enjoy that irony alright.

And who was she to deny her princess _anything_?


End file.
